Tarnished Innocence
by Puldoh
Summary: He didn't know who he was...And the turtle suddenly kneeling in front of him, asked him that very question, "Mikey, do you know who I am?" Who is Mikey? It wasn't him.


He winced in pain as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. He whimpered as he realized there were handcuffs around his wrists, and his ankles.

Struggling to open his eyes, he winced at the bright lights, gasping in fear when he realized he was surrounded by humans and one other turtle was beside him, talking with them.

He couldn't make out the words, just that it was a passionate tone filled with worry and fear. He wondered why, but then realized he was hurt.

His whole body seems to throb in pain, waves and waves of pain. He cried out as he shifted, realizing he could feel something dripping down one arm and he glanced down, seeing the bullet wound.

He felt a hand on him and he glanced up, seeing the turtle in front of him and frowned in confusion_. He didn't know who he was. Was he family? He was green….so was he….did that mean something? What was he saying? Why couldn't he make out the words?_

He cried out as sure hands drifted over his wound, causing it to burn in pain through the laughter in the room, as he cried and sobbed for the turtle to stop it, to stop hurting him.

He could hear laughter and a taunting voice, but couldn't make out the words through the pain he felt. He flinched away when something sent shockwaves of pain to his arm explode in pain and he screamed.

He heard more laughter, more taunting voices, and someone trying to sooth him over the pain in his body.

He felt the darkness seem to engulf him again and he passed out from the pain.

When he woke up later, he realized he was laying on something warm despite the fact he was cold. He glanced up vaguely, seeing the green turtle holding him. He wondered who he was.

He saw the mouth open and words flowed out, but he couldn't decipher them. He just stared. His head throbbed and he tried to move but cried out in pain. Falling back into the strong arms, he whimpered.

He felt the darkness trying to claim him again and struggling against the darkness, he finally lost the battle.

* * *

><p>When he woke up again, he saw the turtle moving in the room, pacing it seem. He seemed to be talking to himself, or him, but it was so full of facts and figures, he couldn't make heads or tails of it. He stared at him, hoping to find something to connect with but he wasn't able to.<p>

He didn't know who he was.

And the turtle suddenly kneeling in front of him, asked him that very question, "Mikey, do you know who I am?"

_Whose Mikey?_

"Rabbit Grub," he babbled, and then frowned, that wasn't what he wanted to say.

The turtle frowned in front of him, his eyes full of confusion and fear, "Mikey, do you remember what happened? Or what your name is?"

_No, of course not! Stupid turtle….wait does that mean I'm stupid to..._"Banana Read, Vixen baths loss," he babbled. _Why am I saying these words instead of the words I want to say? Why can't I say names? Why can't I tell him the words in my head…._

He looked away, embarrassed and shivered. He then realized his hands and legs were able to move and saw the bandages on the wrists and ankles. He frowned, pointing at them, but then the door opened and the turtle stood in front of him, protecting him of whoever was coming in.

He saw a guy dressed in metal and chuckled. "Clown chicken soup," he said but had been trying to say, 'Metal Head can't face us.'

The metal man stepped in; his eyes seem to be glowing in anger as he was followed by a whole bunch of people in purple pajamas. He frowned, but the turtle in front of him, was saying angered words at Metal Man. The man chuckled and snapped his fingers. Suddenly the turtle was pulled away from him, being held tightly by the men as he yelled in anger and fear, his eyes on him.

"Purple Foxes!" he said, meaning to call the turtle something else, something was his title but he couldn't remember. He shivered in fear as Metal Man approached him, and he scrambled backwards. He could hear the other turtle screaming but his words were lost to him as Metal Man suddenly kicked him hard in the stomach, something giving away inside as he screamed in pain.

Metal Man laughed in glee, before reaching down and holding him up easily, one of the claws tracing his face lightly, his words thick and oily as he spoke, "Such a nice specimen. I am sure he would provide my men with many nights of entertainment….I think he shall be mine tonight," he said chuckling, glancing back at the irate turtle screaming.

He didn't know what Metal Man wanted but the look on the other turtles face showed deep despair and panic at Metal Man's words. He whimpered as he was dragged from the room, the screams he heard from the turtle seemingly to echo in his ears.

He moaned in pain as he was thrown into the cage, his entire body throbbed in pain as he curled up painfully, cringing at the smell of blood and sweat and sex that covered his body. Suddenly the door opened and he was suddenly covered with cold water and he shrieked in shock.

He then saw the other turtle nearby, tears in his eyes as he came over. "Are you…. Did …god, what did they do to you?"

_He wanted to speak this time, to tell him what Metal Man did, the horror he spent the last few hours at the whim of the evil man. He wanted to say what he did, what he touched and hurt and it seem to lock up, his voice and he let out a whimper as he felt a warm hand touch his cold wet skin. _

"I'm here Mikey…I'm so sorry," he heard whispered in the coldness of the cell. He whimpered again, wanting to leave the cell. He wanted to get away from Metal Man. He wanted to be safe. This continued on every few days, the same pattern. And each time, he returned in worst condition.

* * *

><p>Hours seem to pass as he lay in the turtle's arms, shivering in fear and memories, wishing he knew the turtle's name. He whimpered, hearing footsteps coming closer and clutched the turtle tighter, afraid.<p>

He felt the arms encircle him, trying to reassure him that he wouldn't be left there.

He heard the door of the cell open and Metal Man's footsteps coming inside. "Well, I expect my toy to come to me when I arrive," he said silkily, smiling.

He shivered in his turtles grip, cringing away from the man. The turtle spat out, "He's not a toy you bastard, stay away from my brother," he said scathingly. He could pick up the anger and fear and disgust he had for Metal Man.

"Ahhh, why would I do that?" he taunted before he clicked his fingers and two guards stepped forward to grab him.

He screamed and struggled, as he was torn from his turtles grip, not wanting to go. He fought and screamed, finally saying the first words he was able say clearly since he woke up, "NONoNONONONONO" over and over, as he was dragged from the room, hearing the screams of the one he left behind.

He found himself being dragged along the same hallways as before; paling as he realized his destination was the same as last time. He fought and struggled, ignoring the blows that hit his body. He screamed and felt ashamed at tears fell down his cheeks as he was thrown onto the bed and his arms chained to the headboard. He whimpered as he felt his legs quickly chained. He screamed as he saw Metal Man coming closer, and cried in horror as the man undressed.

He quickly forced himself to close his eyes, to blank out…

* * *

><p>He felt himself being dragged again, and this time dropped into the cell as before. The other turtle ran to him, speaking, asking if he was alright, what happened, and many other things, but he stared at him.<p>

He felt hollow, broken, not all there. Part of him felt dead, and he still didn't know who this turtle was.

He felt like crying but that too was gone. All he could feel was the throbbing pain throughout his body, the pain below his waist, the bruises on his arms and legs, they throbbed relentlessly, reminding him of what had happened, and he struggled to keep it locked away.

Whimpering as he felt the other turtle lift him up and bring him to the other side of the cell, he laid back down, his eyes still blank but watching to make sure he wasn't going to be hurt.

_The turtle was crying. _

_Why?_

_Because of him?_

Metal Man told him that it was the turtle's fault, their fault for what he was doing and he hated it.

He heard the name 'Mikey' over and over again, and assumed that must have been his name. He wondered who this turtle was.

Suddenly, he heard a loud thump outside and froze, his body tensing up, hands wrapping around the turtles arms, not wanting to go back.

He heard screaming and yells, alarms going off, and suddenly the door slammed open and two more turtles ran in. One wearing a Blue bandana and the other wore Red. He froze, tensing up as they approached, their faces showed their concern and pain, speaking to the one that held him, calling him Donnie.

He frowned when he saw Red kneel down beside him, tears in his eyes, "Ya gonna be okay Mike…" and slowly picked him up. He remained tensed as Red picked him up, not sure what his intentions were.

He whimpered in pain, and heard the turtle in the cell with him, say, "Be careful Raph! He's….been injured…badly."

Red just nodded his head, carrying him as they moved through the hallways quickly, wincing in pain as he was jostled and jolted around.

He felt them running and the sound of an engine, the slaps of their feet hitting the concrete, echoing in the night as they all ran to the vehicle. He felt himself being carried inside, and placed on a seat, and he moaned in pain. Everything hurt.

"Shhh Mikey, I know it hurts…just hang on….we're going home..." the turtle said gently, tears in his eyes.

_Home, where is home? I have no home…..I have nothing…_

He felt the van move, and voices talking a mile a minute and it was hurting his head. He closed his eyes despite pleas of the turtle with him, not to.

* * *

><p>When he woke up, he frowned, wondering what was different. He moaned quietly as he tried to shift on the bed he was on, realizing the burning pain he felt before, was a dull throbbing, and his hands and ankles were throbbing only a little.<p>

"Mikey…you're awake, you want some water?" a voice beside him said. He glanced over this time seeing a turtle in purple and frowned. The voice was the same as the one in the cell.

He watched him carefully.

"Mikey, it's Donnie, remember?" the voice said quietly.

He frowned, "Who…Mikey?" he rasped out painfully. His throat felt bad, cut up and it hurt a lot.

The purple one spoke, "You're Mikey….your name is Mikey…I'm Donnie, you're brother….we're at home now. You're safe. No one will hurt you here," he said earnestly.

He frowned; _he was 'Mikey', okay, safe….hope so….we're home? What is home? Who were the other two turtles, Red and Blue? Why was this one wearing Purple?_

"Purple….why?" he asked curiously, his voice hoarse.

Purple moved, his hands disappearing for a second before he returned with a cup and a straw inside. He glanced at it puzzled before he saw Purple take a quick drink, showing what to do. He sat up eagerly, yanking the water away, and drinking through the straw, the water soothing his cut and hot throat, the cooling sensation feeling wonderful against his throat.

He felt someone grab it away and he let out a deep whine that his water was taken from him. He glanced up, feeling betrayed as he held his hands out for the water.

"Slowly Mikey, I'll let you have more, but if you gulp it down, you will get sick….do you remember…" he stopped, "When you got sick before?"

He frowned, vague memories of throwing up, his stomach and throat hurting came to him, but it wasn't really him. He was wearing orange, like these turtles.

He held his hand out for more, and smiled in glee when it was returned.

He took a nice long drink and laid back, savoring the texture of the water. It was better than what else he ate. What the Metal Man made him ate. He shuddered on the bed, feeling disgusted and ashamed again, and frowned when Purple came closer.

"Mikey, are you okay?" he said worriedly.

"Not Mikey….no one…" he stated simply. _It was true. Metal Man called him turtle, and other words he didn't know. One he kept repeating so it must be his name._ "No...not true….I called slut…whore…." He stated simply, a twisted smile on his face.

Purple looked horrified and about to cry as he shook his head rapidly, "No! No, that's not your name. Your name is Michelangelo Hamato. You are our youngest brother. Your name….your name is MIKEY!" he said.

He shrugged, if they wanted him to be called 'Mikey,' so be it. "Okay," he said listening.

He didn't know what they would do to him. It took Metal Man to teach him to obey, and as much as he hated the pain and humiliation, he learned to listen.

* * *

><p>It had been nearly 6 months since he been here, sitting on this bed, watching these turtles talk with each other, talk with him, trying to get him to participate. The one time he did, they looked offended, and so he said no more. That was when the human was here with black hair.<p>

He looked big and strong but goofy, like cartoons. He looked angry as well, and always watched him. That day, they were talking about what rules were in place, and he piped up, "I know rules!" he said, glad to contribute something.

They smiled and glanced at him, and waited. He pointed at the human, "I am his pet. He allowed hurting me. That rule #1. Rule #2, always sits in front and takes care of needs, Rule #3, always obeys humans, they allowed touching me anywhere."

_They looked horrified when he mentioned his simple rules he was taught by force, and the human got angry. Purple had more tears in his eyes and he learned he was sad. He frowned, wondering why they were upset. _

"You want me to do Rule #2? I help you?" he asked them all. They all said the same thing. NO. They confused him and made it harder for him to please them.

* * *

><p>One night, he saw Blue in his room reading and he walked in.<p>

"Hi Mikey, is everything alright?" Blue asked him.

He shook his head, "No," he said simply.

Blue looked perplexed, "Is there anything you want me to do for you?" he asked confused.

He looked up at him, eyes wide and innocent still, "Why you not like me? What I do wrong?"

Blue looked confused and hurt, "What do you mean? Of course we like you!"

He shook his head again, "No, you not like me. I try to help you with Rule #2, but you push me away. I try letting Red hurt me, or Purple hurt me, but you not. I try let human touch me, but he refuse. I not do what I supposed to do. I must obey rules…why you not like me?"

Blue looked saddened and he put his book aside, and spoke slowly, taking care with his words. "Mikey….these rules you obeyed….they weren't the right rules. You know right and wrong….?" He asked, trailing off.

He nodded, he knew things were 'yes' or 'no' and that 'no' meant bad, and 'yes' meant good.

"Well, some of these rules you obeyed aren't our rules. We don't like you being hurt. We care about you. You are our brother, our friend….and we don't want to hurt you like that…." He said carefully, looking at him, "Do you understand?"

He sat there thinking thoughtfully, considering the words, "So what rules you do want me to follow?" he asked anxious. He didn't know how to act.

Leo frowned, biting his lip, thinking. "Well, we have rules here to keep ourselves healthy. To do that, we make sure we eat at every meal and when we are hungry, and exercise to make sure our body is healthy. That's one of our rules."

He nodded eager to hear more rules. _More food, sure he'd eat to be healthy. Especially if there wasn't any limit….he was only allowed certain food and so he stayed away…always looking at the food the other ate._

"Another rule we have is to keep ourselves safe. To do this, we are always aware of who is around, and to prevent someone from hurting us when they wish us harm. The various types of harm are hitting, touching in the wrong way, like what Shredder did, anything that causes you physical harm or mental harm….does that make sense?" Leo explained slowly.

He frowned again, "Why? I am just animal. I am supposed to be used….I let the other guy touch me, he say I good."

Leo sat up straight, heart beating, "What guy?" he said anxious and fearful.

He shrank back, shaking a little. "I don't know his name," he said scared.

Leo struggled to calm his demeanor, and said slowly, "This man, what does he do?"

He sat there, thinking and shrugged, "He make me follow him. He laugh like Metal Man, and make me kneel. He say work. Do. So I do, and when he get hard, he touch me, all over and then do same as Metal Man. Hurts, but he say I good boy," he said trying to explain.

Leo leaned forward, and frowned, "Mikey, please, can you tell me where you meet this man?"

He nodded, "Mikey meet him at junkyard with men. He say he know me. Say I listen. He say he allowed, so I follow," he said shrugging.

Leo thought about their excursion to the junkyard, remembering the many times they scavenged with the Junk people, and knew the Professor, as he liked to be called, was mostly in charge. It was hard to keep an eye on the wayward turtle when he got curious. But the fact he was being abused under their noses infuriated him.

"What was his name?" Leo asked, trying hard not to react in anger.

He shrugged, "His name Master…that what he say to call him," he said trying to be helpful.

Leo nodded, getting up disturbed. "Mikey…can you stay here…I need to speak to our brothers…please, just stay?"

He nodded, "Of course…Can I look at books?" pointing to the book shelf.

Leo smiled, walking over he pulled out a few I Spy books he had bought for his brother since they got him back and handed him over.

He smiled in glee, and started reading.

* * *

><p>Leo walked to the living room, pulling Raph and Don close to him and explaining the situation. Raph was furious as was Don. They both wanted to leave and get revenge for their little brother's abuse.<p>

"Guys, Mikey doesn't know his name. We would have to bring Mikey there, and get him to point it out. The men there have their own form of justice, and we can join in if we wish. I just spent the last 10 minutes explaining to Mikey the new rules and this came up," Leo said breathlessly, "Don, what's going on with him? Why hasn't he healed?"

Don sighed, rubbing his face tiredly, "I told you Leo. Mikey's brain was fried several times in between his times with Shredder and Stockman. It will probably never recover…. I am actually glad he retained this child way of thinking…the only problem is he's extremely susceptible to someone's way of thinking. He'll do whatever they want to please them. The only thing we can do is start to encourage his way of thinking into a mature mindset. It will be hard but it might work."

Raph growled, "And what do we do in the meantime Brainiac? Mikey came up ta me last week and offered to let me beat the crap outta him! How do we change that!" he said frustrated.

Don shrugged, hands splayed out in exasperation, "What do you want me to do! I can't fix him! The procedures to fix nerves in the brain are a very complicated thing and damn near impossible to cure. The only thing we can do is rewire the brain."

Raph glanced away, angrily.

* * *

><p>He could hear them arguing, and frowned, putting the books on the nearby table, he got up to look. He stood there silently, watching them get angrier and angrier. He hated anger. He knew how much it hurt.<p>

Frowning, he disappeared into the sewers, setting off a trigger in the alarm system by accident.

* * *

><p>Don jumped up, running to his computer and typed in some codes, his multiple screens bringing up the cameras where the alarm was traced. "Mikey just left," he said grimly.<p>

"Shit!" Raph said cursing as he grabbed his Sai's and started out.

Leo and Don quickly grabbed their gear, Don grabbing his bag as well, and started out, following their wayward brother.

It didn't take them long to find him. Sitting at an open junction point, staring out at the sky, he started singing softly to himself.

_No one knows me this I know_

_No one likes me this I know_

_They fight and talk like I don't see_

_I'm messed up inside of me_

_I wish I was not broken there_

_I wish I can stand them being near_

_Why am I the one who is hurt?_

_The one to cry and find fault_

_I'm so tired of being so confused _

_Of lost, of pain, of memories came_

_I hate me like this I know_

_I miss the me I was before…_

_When everyone liked me_

_And I knew them.…._

Tears were in their eyes as they listened to this small song, seeing their brothers eyes filled with sadness and tarnished innocence. They were going to approach him, when they heard him mumble, "Why get mad at each other. I can make better. I can be gone."

Horror filled their eyes as they heard this, and started toward them. They cried out, seeing Mikey standing at the end, a small smile on his face, "I not want this…I want go home…" and he stepped off into the darkness, a smile on his face.

* * *

><p>They screamed in horror, running forward, afraid to look down, and Don was the first to scramble over, spotting the body sinking under the water. He climbed down, knowing how dangerous it would be, seeing Raph just jump in, knowing he didn't care if he got hurt, and Leo jumping down like him. A large splash told them Raph was okay, and his body diving under the water, swimming to save his brother.<p>

It was dark and murky, the water was awful. He swam further, taking care to breathe easily, so he could last longer. He dived deeper, finally seeing a darker shadow in the water and swam towards it. He saw it was his brother, and gasped in fear at the slack face and scrambled up to the surface, his little brother held tightly in his grip.

Splashing through, he saw Don and Leo nearby, and he scrambled to get to them, tired from the swim but his brother's life depended on it.

Reaching shore, he handed Mikey to them, collapsing in the water. Leo called his name and pulled his exhausted body to shore. He could hear Donnie doing compressions and breathing, and he watched in silent fear as he waited.

There was nothing, time seemed to drag on, slowly, ticking by slower as Death seem to come and was trying to take their youngest brother.

Don was crying, slamming his fists on Mikey's plastron, trying to expel the water, trying to get him to breathe, but there was nothing. "NO! NO, don't do this, please Mikey, we need you!" he cried, slamming down harder, one last time, and gasped in shock as he felt Mikey choke a little, water dripping freely from his mouth.

"MIKEY!" he said eagerly, turning him on his side so the water wouldn't travel back in and choke their brother even more.

"Is…is he…is he alright?" Leo asked shakily, his skin a pale green.

"I…I don't know….he…he might have more damage," Don said weakly, taking a few deep breathes, trying to calm the rising fear, the many facts coming to him about lack of oxygen and brain cells dying. His little brother could be a vegetable!

He choked back his sobs, "We need to get him cleaned up. Warm. Raph too, he's freezing."

Leo nodded, reaching down and helping Raph stand up, as Don lifted up their very slim brother.

Together, they headed for home.

* * *

><p>It was three weeks later.<p>

Three entire weeks.

21 days.

504 hours of waiting, constantly checking, and re-checking.

Then they heard a faint sigh early one evening.

They had returned home, greeted April, who had stayed while they did a smash and grab at a local hospital to get more materials and medical supplies for their little brother. They had no qualms anymore about stealing it. Their brother needed it.

He deserved it.

It was the Humans fault he was like this.

Don was standing right beside him, eyes glued to the remade heart monitor he found thrown out a few years back, a life-saver now because of the fear of finding Mikey's heart stopped one day. The constant beeping re-assured them all, especially in the beginning, when they became accustomed to hearing it.

They nearly beat Casey to death the one and only time he shut the sound off, scaring them entirely. He had been banned from the lair since.

* * *

><p>That day, the heart beat was a little faster, blood pressure was up. And he sighed.<p>

"He might wake up today," Don said quietly, checking his stats.

"Do…do you think his mind will be okay?" Leo asked in a soft voice.

Raph glanced up, eager for an answer.

"I….I don't know. We can't know till he wakes. The fact he was in a coma doesn't bode well….we'll see okay," he consoled them. It was the only thing he could do, was console his family.

They nodded, hearing another soft sigh, followed by a deep inhalation of breathe.

Don stepped forward; making sure the jug of water he carried over had a glass and a straw in it. He knew Mikey loved his straws.

Eyes fluttered and they called to him….happy.

He frowned, hearing voices calling his name.

_Mikey. _

_He knew that once, a long time ago. He knew that was his name, when he was younger…and somehow it disappeared from him. _

_It was taken…who was he then? Was he Mikey…or someone else?_

_What was he going to do? _

_Why won't they be quiet…._

_I'm tired…._

He felt something poke his arm and he recoiled, hearing a voice scold the person, and he opened his eyes, glancing at the Purple one glaring at the Red, and saying not to poke him. Not until he was better.

"Pypia," he murmured, and flushed again, knowing that wasn't the word he was supposed to say. He meant to say something else.

"Uh Don? What's wrong with him?" Leo asked uncertain.

Don sighed, "I told you back with the Shredder, and I think Mikey suffered from a condition known as Anomic aphasia, it's when you have trouble using the correct word for objects, places or events. He's trying to say something, probably our name or the descriptor he called us before, and the condition is causing him to replace the name with something else."

"Does it go away?" Raph asked concerned, glancing at his blue eyes brother, staring at them with an odd glint in his eyes.

"Yes…it disappeared after a day or two when we were there," Don said in a quiet voice. "The fact it came back tells me he did sustain some damage."

"Mikey, I want you to look at me," he said, tilting his head toward him, "Look straight, I need to check your eyes."

He turned his head, and flinched as the bright light hit his eyes, whimpering and turned his head away.

"Mikey, please I need to check your eyes, it will take a moment and I will even turn all the lights down, does that sound like a plan?" Don said.

He winced, and finally nodded his head.

Don continued his exam and as sure as he said, he ordered the lights to be dimmed and a cup of broth to be brought over.

Leo and Raph fought for the honor, and each took one task, quickly returning after doing each one.

He grimaced as he tried to concentrate, glancing at them curiously. _Who were they?_

"Mikey," the purple one said cautiously, "you were injured pretty badly three weeks ago…you went into a coma…"

He frowned, '_Coma? What happened?'_ he thought. Their names escaped him but he knew his name was 'Mikey,' because that's why they kept calling him. He closed his eyes tiredly, images and memories coming back to him, consuming his broken mind.

He let out a cry of pain, remembering everything, and he struggled to pull away. "Na, loki get van too," he cried, trying to say, 'No Shredder did that,' and froze at the hands on his arms, a memory of the one in front of him, holding him, trying to save him, and he broke down crying.

Don's eyes widen and immediately he pulled Mikey into his arms, comforting him.

He soon fell asleep.

* * *

><p>It had been three days since he woke up, and he walked around the lair curiously. He's seen everyone's room and touched what looked interesting to him, much to the annoyance of his brothers.<p>

He knew they were annoyed with him, and the Red one held some sort of resentment for him. He didn't know why.

Finally, one day, as he watched the Red one work in the dojo, he asked, "Why don't you like Mikey?"

Raph stopped punching, confused. "I like Mikey."

He shook his head, "No, you don't like me…so you not like Mikey. Why?" he asked curious.

Raph glanced away, annoyance in his face as he replied, "Look, I like Mikey just fine….I like you, it's just, you're different now."

He shrugged, "I know….can't change what's broken now," he said looking away. He walked away but felt a hand touch his arm and he froze.

"I miss my little brother. It hurts….you don't even remembah how you were before," Raph spoke quietly, his voice full of pain, "We took care of ya, raised ya, and…when you came back messed up even more than before….and you tried to take your life! You tried to kill yourself!" he said disgusted.

He stared at the Red one, feeling immensely guilty and ashamed, "I…I not remember anything."

Raph nodded, letting his arm go, disgusted, "Isn't that convenient," he scowled, turning away.

He stood there, lost and confused, _Why hadn't they told him he done all that? Why didn't they say he wreck their lives?_

He walked off, intending to leave the lair, but stopped at the door, uncertain. He looked back at the living room, where Red was watching TV, and Blue was in the dojo, and Purple was in his lab.

He frowned, hesitating, and then walked to the room they said was his. Inside, he looked around, trying to recognize anything. He picked things up, but nothing was normal. He saw a pair of weapons on the desk, and picked them up. They didn't feel normal in his hands. _How much of himself did he loose according to his brothers?_

* * *

><p>Days slowly turned into weeks and he wasn't any better, he was still the same mixed up turtle amongst them. He was anxious when they all left him behind, but they stressed it was one of the rules he had to follow. Something he had to listen to.<p>

So he obeyed, much to their surprise.

He always went and sat on the couch when they left, and if they came back cut and bruised, he would help patch them up, since he was good at that. He frowned when he was alone, staying on the couch until they came home. It was always quiet when he was alone.

Weeks started to pass, and he was feeling depressed. He wanted to go out, and he wasn't allowed. He remembered seeing the sun, the moon, the stars, but he wasn't allowed out anymore.

"We go camping?" he asked, when he noticed it was on his calendar, a plan from last year that they were supposed to go this week.

"No Mike, we can't," Leo said, sighing. Before all this happened, 9 months before, they had planned a week long camping trip. But they were scared of losing Mikey in the wilderness, of his ability to wander or catch the attention of someone. He was so naive, he had no concept. He didn't seem to have the ability to say 'No', his main vocabulary lately was 'Okay'.

"Why not?" he asked curiously, wanting an answer. From what he read in his old journals, he was really excited about going, and doing wiener roasts and making marshmallow sandwiches.

Leo glanced up, seeing the honest curiosity, "Because…" he faltered, there wasn't a real reason why they couldn't go, and it would be good for all of them. And at the same time, they could visit Splinter's grave.

"Well, you know what, we should go!" he said with a smile, "How about you go and tell Raph and Don if they want to go, and let me know. I'll phone April," he said smiling, seeing the excitement.

Mikey nodded, eager to carry out his orders, and ran over to Raph in the exercise room. He waited until he put the weights down, knowing a distraction would be bad, a big NO-NO.

"What ya want, cheese-ball?" Raph said gruffly, putting the weights down, knowing it would distract him to talk and work with Mikey in the room.

"Want go camping? Leo say we can go, and to ask you if you want come," he said with a smile.

Raph smiled at the thought of camping and slowly nodded, "Ya know, I can definitely say I want ta go."

Mikey smiled, nodding his head, "I tell Leo, and got to go ask Donnie. Be back later for lessons," he said with a smile, waving to him.

He ran back out and headed towards Donnie's laboratory. He shuddered as he stepped inside, but seeing Don made him relax.

"Hey Don," he said smiling.

"Hey Mikey, how are you today?" Don asked, stopping his typing on the computer and turning to him.

"Want to go camping? Leo say we can go, and Raph said yes. You say 'yes' too?" he asked smiling hopefully. .

Don thought about it for a moment, glancing at all his projects and his computer, and then nodded his head, "Sure, I'll go," and smiled at the happiness he saw in Mikey's face. It was so hard not to give into his face now.

Mikey beamed, "Thanks Donnie," and gave him a quick hug, and bounced his way back to Leo who had made a few calls to April and Casey.

"Leo, they say they all want ta go, I can't wait, Can I bring some toys? Some books….in my book it says I make Marshmallow sandwiches, can you teach me?" he asked eagerly. He was very excited.

"Is father camping also?" he asked curiously. He had very limited memories when it came to their father, and only asked because his journal mention Splinter was there.

He hadn't noticed Raph and Don had followed him, wanting to talk about the trip. Their faces fell at the thought of explaining it.

"Um, Mikey….why…why did you ask that?" Don asked. Mikey never spoke of their father. He didn't remember him.

"It say so in book!" he said shrugging. "I don't remember him, but book say Father at cabin. I think Father can help me remember…I want to be me again."

Mikey watched at their faces showed shadows of sadness and pain. "Why…why you so sad?"

Leo stepped forward, grabbing Mikey's hand and sat him down on the couch nearby. "Mike…. I know you haven't remembered Father…there is a reason why he isn't here," he started.

"Yes. He at cabin. Book told me that," he said with a smile.

Leo frowned, shaking his head, and taking a deep breathe, "Mikey, Father passed away 2 years ago. He died Mike," he said softly.

Mikey frowned, not understanding, "What you mean die? Book said Father was at the cabin!"

Raph spoke up, "Mike…. Your journals….it's right. We buried Father up near the cabin, in a nice looking grove….it's very pretty," he said, voice choking slightly, "Father is buried there, but he's not alive…"

Mikey processed this for a moment, feeling pangs of sadness for the father he forgot, and his chin quivered slightly as he said, "I wish I knew him," and he got up, walking to his room.

Picking up the journal he was reading in hopes of getting his memory back, he said scathingly, "You lied!" and threw the book against the wall angrily.

* * *

><p>They were packed and ready to go, Mikey was back to his bouncy self, and was eager to explore.<p>

When they arrived, he helped bring stuff into the cabin, glancing around curiously, wondering if he would remember anything.

He didn't, and went outside, wandering around despite being told not to. He wandered through the woods, seeing little marks on the trees and was intriqued. He remembered those marks meant 'Rat' in Japanese. Leo was teaching him the language and he was fascinated by it.

He started following the symbols, curious, and came upon a neat little grove surrounded by trees. It was peaceful and tranquil.

He saw a stone marker and walked forward, reading the strone with symbols on them.

**Here lies our Honored Father  
>Fallen in battle<br>Died a Hero  
>Loved by his Sons and Friends<strong>

Mikey sat there for awhile, thinking about the words, trying to bring up images, but all he got were the images he saw from the sketchbooks. He wished he could remember him, and got to know him again.

"I…I wished I knew you, I'm sorry I can't remember. Raphie, Leo and Donnie are father now…I'm sorry… Goodbye Father …I love you…always.." he said quietly, leaving the solemn place behind, tears in his eyes.

He walked home, lost in thought, returning to his brothers. He loved them all. They took care of him, cared for him, and even though he was the same age, Donnie said he was younger in mind.

"Hi guys!" he chirped happily, knowing in his heart, his brothers had taken the place of their father.

"Hey Mikey, where were you?" Don asked as he glanced up from his cup of coffee and book he was reading.

"I was with Father…I told him I was sorry…and that I loved him," he said shrugging, "And tell him you father now," waving to the three turtles on the porch and sat down nearby.

"What you reading?" he asked curiously, and frowned at their shock on their faces.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, brow furrowed up.

Don sent a glance at Leo and Raph, shaking his head just a little, "Sorry Mikey, it's just you surprised us. I'm glad you feel that we are your fathers' now, thank you for that."

Mikey smiled, explaining, "You are fathers….you teach right and wrong. You teach words, language, defending myself, learning all the time. You love me, and help me, and discipline me when bad…or wander away…I not remember our real father…but you all feel like father to me…" he said smiling before he rolled to his feet and wandered inside, smiling.

* * *

><p>The week flew by and they saw how carefree Mikey was, and smiled as he became less timid in the sunshine, and slowly came out of his shell. They hated that they had to return to the sewers.<p>

"Guys….shouldn't we retire?" Raph said softly, glancing at Mikey trying to do a hand stand and falling down.

"What are you talking about Raph, we can't retire. Shred-head's still out there, and he needs to be defeated," Leo said angrily.

Raph glanced at Mikey, and a small smile tugged his lips, "We can go back…someday…but look at him. When he called us his father, my heart just beat so much faster…and I didn't realize it at first, But I wanna protect the little guy."

He glanced at Leo, "Mikey's mind is broken Leo…we can't fix that. But if we go back, what if it happens again? What if he is used again? He's too easily manipulated….and he has the mind of a child. We can't go back."

Leo bit his lip, lost in thought. He knew what Raph said was true. They had to protect their brother, before he nodded, "Alright, but we agree that one day, we'll kick Shredders butt!"

Raph laughed, sticking his arm out in a warriors shake, agreeing with Leo, "For sure," he said shaking.

Leo smiled, glancing at Raph, and said, "I'll go tell Donnie," he said, going back into the house.

"Hey Don, we came to a decision.." he started to say, but Don held his hand up, "I already know Leo," he said with a smile, "I have video surveillance on the front doors, and heard every word," he said chuckling, pointing at the monitor he set up.

Leo glanced down and saw Raph holding Mikey up, giving pointers on how to do a handstand. "So you agree?" he asked concerned.

Don nodded, 'Of course I agree! Leo…when Shredder hurt Mikey and kept bringing him back, and I saw how much more of him was being lost in the meantime…it hurt. I felt so bad. I felt such anger and rage… but looking at Mikey…" he stopped for a moment, and then said, "I loathe Shredder, and the pain he caused Mikey, but one day, we will have our revenge….when Mikey is able to handle being around April and Casey…."

"Will that be soon?" he asked curiously.

"Soon, probably by the end of next month…then we can get our revenge," he said grinning savagely.

* * *

><p>Two months passed and Mikey was being sat down at the table and was worried. "Did…did I do something wrong?" he asked glancing around at the faces around him.<p>

"No Mike….there's something we have to do back home in New York," Leo started, "and we need you to stay here with April and Casey," he said.

Mikey frowned, glancing at the humans, remembering the rules he remembered about humans. "Okay…when will you be back?" he asked worriedly, heart thudding.

"Probably my Monday, do you think you can handle that?" Don asked, concerned. He had seen Mikey go slightly pale.

Mikey thought about it, but he didn't want to upset his fathers', so he nodded, "You'll be back….right!" he said, reaching out and snagging Raph's hand nearby.

Raph shushed his brother's anxious breathing, "It's okay Mike, of course we'll be back. We plan to stay here…April and Casey are giving us the house…and we're gonna live here….but we need all our stuff back home and we can't worry about you and that at the same time….please Mikey, just stay here."

Mikey nodded, "I be here…you come home, Monday night…any longer..I go find you!" he stated.

They nodded.

They left an hour later, strapping on their weapons and heading out. As soon as they hit the city, they made their way to Foot Tower, infiltrating the base easily. They were quiet, determined, planned. They stopped every floor, planting explosive devices beside supporting walls.

They continued their way upwards, finding Shredder's room and heard cries and screams from inside. They made their way over, surrounded the bed from the ceiling, dropping down with a light thud against the floor, Leo's swords on the back of the man, who was on top of a young womanl.

They yanked him off, glaring at him, "How dare you hurt our brother! And this young women!" Don said angrily, pulling a blanket up and covering up the young Japanese women who was bruised and cut. "What's your name sweetie?"

"K…Karai!" she said trembling. "That…that beast is my adoptive father!" she spat out, wrapping the blanket around her. She heard about these turtles before and was fascinated by them.

"Thank you," she replied, and she stumbled from the room. Don ran after her, and said softly, "Get out of the building, your father is dying tonight…you will inherit everything here," he said softly, glad to know the face of the next leader of the clan. She was young, had just turned 21. "The place is rigged to explode."

She nodded and said, "Meet me downtown, Pier 13, I will have something for you. If you go into my father's study, you may find some information about your brother's treatment here."

Don nodded and said goodbye, returning to see them battling a naked and angered Saki, and knocked him down quickly.

He and Leo pinned him, and took great pleasure as Raph exacted his revenge. They cut and tortured the man, not giving him the pleasure of a quick death.

They took their time, and when twilight of the next morning came along them, they ended it. As he lay there, they all moved at the same time, Donnie taking the final blow with his Bo into the throat, Raph in the femoral artery in the legs, and Leo using his swords to cut his chest open, giving Oroku Saki the last few seconds into an agonizing death. "That was for our brother!" they stated angrily, and waited until he was truly dead.

* * *

><p>They met with Karai, who handed them three large bags of cash, "I know you live simple lives, and that you may need this…it's not charity, it's a thank you….for what you did," she said handing over the money.<p>

She picked up another bag, one larger than theirs, and said, "This is for the one called Michelangelo, inside at the items that were taken from him when he was kidnapped, as well as enough money here to last him a last time…there are also unlimited cards for gas, food, and various other items."

"Why are you doing this Karai, you weren't responsible for Mikey…" Leo asked confused.

Karai looked up, her young face full of shadows, brimming with tears, "Michelangelo tried to save me from my father….he didn't know it was Saki when he tried to stop my father from raping me in the alley…it is something he enjoys doing…but when Mikey showed up," she faltered, "I was bleeding, and naked, and my father grinned, and they fought. Mikey only lost because father decided to distract him, and threw something at me, and Mikey moved to dodge," she said, some tears falling down her white cheeks.

"He moved so fast, deflecting the small pellet. A Flash bomb, and I heard him yelp, he was blinded, and quickly lost. That was how he was taken….and my father took me home...and he was taken…" she said sadly.

"It wasn't your fault that Mikey was taken," Leo said, "it was just unforeseen circumstance. We don't want to take your money, you are not responsible for—" but then Don cut him off.

"Leo, just wait," he said and turned to Karai, "Did you try to help Mikey inside?"

When Karai nodded, he asked again, "We're you punished and locked up as well?"

When he received another nod, he smiled, "Then we accept the money and cards and thank you for this. I have a question, are you able to help as acquire medical equipment on a regular basis?"

Leo and Raph watched them, flabbergasted at what Don said. When Karai informed the brainy turtle of getting some stuff now, and to wait 20 minutes, he walked over. "This is a lifesaver guys, don't you see that!" he asked, relaxing.

"What you thin' you doin' Donnie!" Raph said confused, "Why we takin' her money!"

Don grinned savagely, "You don't get it. Mikey needs round the clock care, and I've been running myself mad trying to continue his medication. I can't always afford it, and the food alone for all four of us usually runs about $300 a month. I used the last of my savings this last month….April and Casey can't care for us, and if we live at the cabin, how can we get food, medicine and various other things!" he questioned.

"We can-"but Leo faltered, now realizing the difficulties they would have. He glanced at the bags, "This money is tainted Don," he said.

Don's eyes flashed, "So are we! We just tortured a man in the most brutal fashion because of what he did to our little brother. Now we're taking his money, which is freely given by one of his victims. I would be stupid to let that go! Unlimited gas, food, and medicine provided by them forever! Com'n, that's not even putting a dent in the vast Saki Fortune!"

Raph frowned, and nodded his head, "Leo, just think, if Saki had to give his victims restitution, this is it. Just take it as money. Just money….Mikey isn't getting bettah…he's still the same, just calmer. Now we can live in peace."

Leo rubbed his face, hearing a car pull up and pulled his brothers into the shadows, and saw it was a delivery truck. "Okay, we'll take it, but we aren't coming back to New York…not for a long time, okay!'

They nodded.

And they quickly grabbed the medicine and materials Karai provided and bid her good day.

* * *

><p>They returned to the lair, and even though they were tired, they started packing. It took them about 5 hours to pack everything to leave. And slept until it was nighttime the next night.<p>

Late that evening, they headed back to the cabins, glad to return home.

* * *

><p>They arrived early the next morning, and smiled when they saw a light in the window. They grinned when they saw their little brother running to them, engulfing him into a hugs, listening to his chatter as he helped unload the van.<p>

"Com'n Mike, let's go home," Leo said smiling.

"Okay Dad," he said grinning.

Leo stopped surprised, glancing at Don and Raph, whose eyes sparkled as well, "I'm glad to come home," smiling at Mikey's childhood innocence in the eyes.

Mikey continued to age but his mind was always that of a child. He remained lost to his old self, becoming a totally free and wild spirit in the woods. They grew, all of them being called father in some way by Mikey.

He called Raph, "Papa," Don was called, "Father," and Leo still remained, "Dad," and on the rare occasions, he would call them all "Daddy."

Don explained to them Mikey's mind was probably around the ages of 7, 9, 12 at times, and he would mix in between them.

They lived happily on the farm, still receiving cards from Karai who was repairing New York to a better city, using the funds from the Saki fortune. New York had better police service, so crime was down.

April and Casey's antique store became a hot spot for antique and they made their own small fortune with it.

Mikey was a happy turtle, and was confused easily but he gained some calmness with his mind most times. He became adept at gymnastics, and languages, and loved playing the piano, a feat that Donnie was unsure he was able to achieve because of his fingers.

He never recovered but he lived a life full of happiness with his family, and was loved by all around.


End file.
